Ode to Brother Steve

My brother Steve

Ode to Brother Steve

In September of 2019, I wrote a blog post with this same title shortly after Ashley’s brother, Steve, died of brain cancer. Now, I am writing again for my brother, Steve, who died last month on April 7th on the eve of the total eclipse of the sun.

My brother was 15 years older that I am.  He had been declining physically and mentally for some time.  In March he was hospitalized for a serious infection. He couldn’t eat. Then, he lost all interest in eating.  But he was cheerful.  He wanted to go home and he did. He was in hospice care for a week and died peacefully on a Sunday afternoon listening to the 6th game of the 1944 World Series between the St. Louis Browns and his beloved St. Louis Cardinals.

Steve with Brownie camera, age 10

My two sisters and I had the chance to write some of our memories of Steve for his wife, Sue, and his children to read to him. That was a comfort…to remember, to write, and to know that he would hear our treasured memories of him as a brother. My sisters are also much older than I am.  I was born twelve years after the first three children who grew up together.

My favorite memories are from my sister, Anne.  I quote some of them here.

My first memory of Steve was his teaching me how to tie my shoes and how to skip. He was characteristically patient and confident. He taught me how to dive off the side of the pool by straightening my arms and leaning into the water.  At home, I remember playing checkers with Steve and parcheesi. He always beat me, but always fairly and instructively.  I learned and was grateful for his time. One breakfast before school Steve introduced me to the hand game rock, paper, scissors.  Same results: he wins (fairly), I lose (but learn). 

I remember visiting Steve at Harvard Law School.  His organization and concentration impressed me.  He invited me to accompany him to one of his lecture classes.

I remember Mother, Dad and friends' interest in Steve's speech as a specialist in international law to the St. Louis Council on World Affairs.

On one visit, Louise and I asked Steve how his career progressed from attorney to arbitrator and mediator.  During another visit, I was most interested in Steve's discussion and participation in Princeton Project '55.  Again, Steve's characteristic quiet modesty reminded me of Grandpa Luther Smith. 

For birthdays, Steve sent me riotous musical electronic birthday cards of circus dogs and other exuberant animals. Steve called once a month to keep in touch.  We would talk about exercise and what we were reading.

I think a lot about Steve's optimism, good will, intelligence, work habits, and volunteering. I am most grateful he is my brother.

Excerpts from his obituary written by his son Christopher Boyd follow.

Steve loved the outdoors, sports, travel, music and the St. Louis Cardinals. In school, he played ice hockey, soccer, and tennis, and throughout his life, he found much joy in hiking, skiing, tennis, and golf. In his 40s, he took up distance running and rowing, and completed three Marine Corps Marathons and three Head of the Charles Regattas.

Inspired by his grandfather Luther Ely Smith, Steve was a civic-minded and deeply involved citizen, who was admired for his singular dedication, tireless energy, and good humor. He was deeply proud of helping to create and launch Princeton Project 55 (now Princeton AlumniCorps) to engage alumni in developing and implementing programs in the public interest that create real change. Steve also helped found the Character Education Partnership. He will be remembered for his integrity, fairness, fine character, generosity, and his legacy of a life well lived.

I was always bursting with gratitude and with pride to have a brother like Steve. And he was proud of us as his sisters.  We miss him always.

Steve, Sally, Louise, Anne circa 2008

Last week, I attended a Zen ceremony at Bread Loaf Mountain Zen Community.  One of the last chants in the ceremony goes like this: May I respectfully remind you, life and death are of supreme importance. Time passes swiftly and opportunity is lost. Let us awaken, awaken. Take heed. Do not squander your life.

May we all be remembered for our generosity and integrity.  May we all bring kindness into the world every day.  May we all leave a legacy of a life well lived in service and in love.

Choose to Bless the World

Sugar Moon setting

I sing with the choir at Champlain Valley Unitarian Church (CVUUS) as of this year.  We have the good fortune to have a twenty-six-year-old, gifted beyond measure, music director, Ronnie Romano, who is also one of the most exuberant and kind people I have ever met. It is a joy to sing with this choir and I look forward to every rehearsal and every Sunday that we sing. I also sing under Ronnie’s direction in a hospice singing group named Wellspring. 

Last Sunday at CVUUS we sang an anthem entitled “Choose to Bless the World.”  It has stayed with me, the melodies, and the words. They live in my head, or sometimes I just sing them out loud.

You who light the world,

Oh, you who love the world,

Be the light today.

Be the love today.

Choose to bless the world.

What is happening in our world in Gaza, in Ukraine, at our southern border, in our country, with our changing, warming climate…is heart breaking and crushing.

Yesterday’s service and the anthem helped us to love the world, all of it.  To resist becoming crushed and shattered, and instead, offer our light and love in any way that we can, through our talents, our smiles, our gestures, our kindness.

New baby Liv, her mother Lei, and her brothers, Jack and Alden

The last week has been full of blessings in our house.  We have a brand-new granddaughter, born March 14th, named Liv Louise Cadwell.  She has two older brothers, Jack and Alden.  We will be lucky enough to spend Easter weekend with them in New Jersey. 

Last Friday, I picked blooming snow drops to bring inside because on Saturday it snowed all day until there was over a foot of new white snow.  And as the day broke on Sunday, the world filled with light and sparkles and a deep blue sky.

And last night, there was an almost full moon that stayed in the western sky until early this morning so that we could watch it set over the hill in between the branches of bare maple trees.

Hiking and Skiing the Middlebury College Snowbowl

And today, we will go put on our climbing skis and hike up the Middlebury College Snow Bowl, and ski down. No lifts running today so very few people.  Just the crunch of our skis climbing and gliding on snow, the breeze through the spruce trees, and birdsong. The cardinal now singing his bright spring song.

This poem was also read at the service last Sunday,, “Snowdrops,” by Louise Gluck.

Do you know what I was, how I lived?  You know
what despair is; then
winter should have meaning for you.

I did not expect to survive,
earth suppressing me. I didn't expect
to waken again, to feel
in damp earth my body
able to respond again, remembering
after so long how to open again
in the cold light
of earliest spring--

afraid, yes, but among you again
crying yes risk joy

in the raw wind of the new world.

May we all risk joy. May we all nurture our capacious hearts to hold both the pain of the world and the joy. And may we bring our joy and kindness to others in the raw wind of the new world.

Snowdrops

A week with Jack

Jack labeling his block construction buildings on a photo of his town

Our grandson, Jack, visited with his dad for Washington’s birthday week to ski. However his dad, our son, was starting a new job that very week! So, we spent a lot of time with Jack, waiting for his dad to be finished with work so that we could all go skiing.

Note to encourage his dad to get ready to ski!

This was a week away from preschool for Jack who turned five last December. Well, really four days away from school, after the Presidents Day holiday. 

I put out good quality paper in a 9 by 12 inch notebook, and pencils and pens, and colored pencils, and a variety of good quality markers. In the past, Jack has dedicated hours to drawing all kinds of games, animals, scenarios.  He worked at the kitchen island most of the time.  And, for the most part, I followed him.  By that I mean, I made available what he asked me for; I was his secretary; I was his assistant. 

He wanted to write a lot.  When I showed him Swahili words for animals, he wanted to write them.  (We had just returned from an epic and long dreamed of trip to Tanzania which I wrote about last month.)

Names of animals in Swahili …do you know them?

When he was getting antsy and wanted to go skiing, he wanted to write his dad notes about that. When he built a town of buildings that he knows, he wanted to label them on a photo/map of his town. When he wanted to design a stuffy for us to make, he wanted to draw step by step instructions. 

Instructions for designing and sewing a ghost stuffy

In many ways, this was a week of school for me, with Jack being my teacher.  I have written several blog posts about time with Jack.  One post when he was around two years old and was living down the road during the pandemic.  I was lucky enough to spend two days a week with him then.  And just last fall, when I visited his school, A Child’s Place, in New Jersey and, again, was lucky enough to be able to work with him and some of his friends with natural materials. 

Ghost stuffy

So here he is again, star of the show.  Making school for himself learning, practicing what he knows and stretching into new forms, inventing, building, writing, drawing, making all kinds of things.    

And we did ski. And he is a good skier, mostly because of the year that he spent learning to ski when he was two, the year he lived in Vermont during the pandemic. So, during the week that they were here, I followed him down the mountain as well.

Finally skiing at the Middlebury College Snowbowl

Visiting Tanzania: The Rift Valley Children's Village

Jetruda drawing Shanchezia Zebra plant leaf from shrubs around the RVCV campus

About a month ago, Ashley and I set off for Tanzania.  An epic trip for us, one that we started to plan in late summer of 2021 and canceled due to Covid fears. In late summer 2023, we reopened our plans, thrilled in anticipation that we would finally make it.

After we cancelled our trip, I wrote about where we had planned to go: The Rift Valley Children’s Village (RVCV).  We learned about RVCV from our close friend, Peggy Curley Bacon, who has volunteered and served on the board of this amazing place since the beginning. We were lucky to travel this time with Peggy and her husband, Carter, and to volunteer ourselves. This post gives the history of the village, where 100 would be orphans have a forever home where they are nurtured, safe, loved, and provided with an excellent education until they are financially independent.

Elementary students gathering before school

Our first morning at the Children’s Village, we met the group of elementary age children at 7 a.m. where they gather on benches before school to express gratitude, to share, and to set out to walk to their nearby school all together.  That morning the adult leader of the day asked about the “RVCV family rules,” what are they? Different children, all in different stages of learning English, offered up the rules…be happy, help others, always tell the truth, be thankful…

Then, they took turns sharing a joke or two before heading off across the fields to their school.

Walking to Gyetighi Elementary School

The Tanzanian Children’s Fund, the foundation that supports multiple initiatives, has vastly improved the local elementary school, Gyetighi, renovating and adding buildings, planting gardens, hiring many more teachers, and raising standards of all kinds.  The Fund has also transformed the local Oldeani Secondary School by building classrooms and dorms and hiring many more teachers. The fund has built and staffed a health clinic that serves the surrounding community. In addition, the Fund supports small business development, especially for local women.

Mica demonstrating contour drawing for younger children

Several times during our stay, I was lucky enough to be able to work with about 7 children, ages 7-10, with the art materials that I had brought with me to leave with them…black fine line pens, quality-colored pencils, watercolors, good quality mixed medial paper, and markers. When we arrived, I started to collect a variety of leaves from plants around the campus.  With the children, I demonstrated contour drawing, or “bug drawing”…pretend that you are a tiny insect crawling around the edges of the leaf that you are holding. Follow the path of the insect carefully with your pen.  Then use whatever colors you would like to finish your piece.

Jacob painting Zebra plant leaves

I was floored by the focus of the children and the pleasure that they took in doing these drawings! They had not worked with materials like these, and they do not have any art classes in school. They all were engaged immediately and did beautiful work. They were happy. I was overjoyed.

I was supported by several volunteers who were there for a month from the U.S., and a Tanzanian high school boy, Micah, who joined in and inspired the children, and helped to translate.

Drawing by Jetruda

I could not be more grateful or more humbled by our experience at the Rift Valley Children’s Village.  We were surrounded by such a happy and highly functional community of adults and children for five days. We were thrilled to be able to contribute to this place and the people who live there.  Ashley was helping Carter build shelves for storage during the time that I was working with the young children.

We gifted several children with extra sketchbooks and pens that we had brought along so that they can keep drawing on their own.  And we decided to sponsor two sisters, now age 7, for the remainder of their education. 

Painting of Zebra plant leaves and Calathea plant leaves by Jacob

We are forever changed by this experience. Children who would otherwise be without homes and without family, are becoming strong, talented, passionate young Tanzanians who will be leaders in their communities. In our world where so much is unsettled, it is truly uplifting to experience a community like this one. Thank you, founder, India Howell, whose vision and dedication brought this place into being and gratitude to the staff and the board that sustain and lead this beautiful place into the future. 

Sunset at the Rift Valley Children’s Village

Learning & Joy

Self Portraits, JK class, South City Catholic Academy, St. Louis, MO.

How was your passage into the new year? Ours was full of grandchildren and a bonfire and skiing all together on beautiful snow despite the wildly unpredictable weather in Vermont.

We are full of gratitude for our year of work with several wonderful schools and all the teachers who are working to make learning more interesting, meaningful, and beautiful for their students…who want to create lasting learning that makes a difference in children’s lives now and into the future.

We visited one of the schools where we work the week after Thanksgiving in St. Louis, South City Catholic Academy (SCCA).  We found many aspects of student and teacher work that are an inspiration to us! And we found teachers eager to embrace ever new ways to engage their students in learning that is transformational.

The Art Studio, South City Catholic Academy

One of the ways that we work is to photograph evidence of vibrant learning in the environment, in organization and materials, in student-to-student sharing and collaboration, in teacher to student relationships, and in learning made visible often displayed on the walls.  We then project the images back to the teachers and ask them what they see.  They appreciate seeing through our lens what is working well and feel pride in their progress as a community of learners. Several of those images are included in this blog post.

Documentation, South City Catholic Academy

Louise visited the school where we work in Somerville, MA the second week of January, Prospect Hill Academy (PHA).  Likewise, at PHA there was much evidence of progress and joy in student work.  One exceptional hour was shared observing in Peter Coner’s kindergarten classroom as children worked in centers…dramatic play, the studio, blocks, construction, the library… followed by sharing by several students with the whole class.

A protocol for responding to the student work frames the conversation for the students.  The questions that frame the conversation are: What do you notice? What questions do you have? Are you inspired to do your own work, or do you have suggestions for your classmates who are sharing today?

Afterwards, the kindergarten and pre-K teachers who were observing shared with the students what they had learned from them.  The kindergartners were rapt in attention listening to what the adults had noticed and appreciated by spending an hour observing their work and play.

The following dialogue was recorded during that observation by one of our team of observers.  The dialogue took place in the dramatic play area where a group of children were pretending to be cats.

Pretending to be cats, Prospect Hill Academy, Peter Coner’s classroom, Somerville, MA

 Peter (teacher): What do cats eat?

 All of the group: Cat food!

 Edwensky: Kitties, I have some orange juice for you.

 Dorothy: I don’t think I ever saw cats eat orange juice.

 Khalessia and Dorothy: Meow, Meow.

 Edwensky: Kitties, time to eat!

 Khalessia and Dorothy: Meow, Meow.

 Edwensky: Kitties, do you want to go for a walk?

 Khalessia and Dorothy: Meow, Meow.

 Edwensky: I think that “Meow” means “yes.”

 Khalessia and Dorothy: Meow does mean “yes.”

 (Edwensky leads the cats around)

 Dorothy: Cats twirl like this. And they pick the best spot. Meow.

(Dorothy twirls in place and lies down on the sofa.)

 Dorothy:  Cats lie on top of each other. I want to lie on top of you!

(Dorothy and Khaleesia lie on the sofa together for a moment.)

 Khalessia: Hey, let’s go wake up daddy.

(both girls crawl over to Edwensky who is lying under the table.)

“Cats lie on top of each other.” Dorothy

The observer commented afterwards,

I was impressed with the extent to which kids embody animals as a way of learning about them. They really moved around like cats.

And, I noticed all the negotiation of the story and of the physical space. There was such subtlety in the students’ communication, both physical and verbal. They are developing an understanding of how to "read" one another.

This was an experience of pretend play that was captured during the one hour of observation. It represents the value of observing and of recording the words of the children and capturing their play in photographs.  We now have documents that we can study together and imagine how to further support this pretend play. 

There is much research done on the value and importance of pretend play for young children…role play, social/emotional growth, negotiation, collaboration, storytelling and story-acting, perspective taking, self-regulation, empathy.

In their book, Play, Playfulness, Creativity and Innovation, Patrick Bateson, and, Paul Martin explore how creativity and divergent and innovative thinking have their roots in pretend play in childhood.

What a wonderful way to conclude and begin our year…with two schools where curiosity and joy in learning are alive and thriving. Here’s to a year of learning and of joy for all of us.

Playing Games, South City Catholic Academy

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